Evaluating Our Conversations at the “Holiest” Time of the Week

All Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Standard Bible 1995 Ed. (NASB95)

Think back to the last conversation you had during your church gathering. What things did you talk about? Did you talk about the latest political news, or the illness that your mutual friend was suffering? Did you just briefly summarize your perception of the work week, and then part ways? Or did you have a deep theological discussion, as if you were professional scholars investigating the nuances of Christian philosophy?

However you answer, I think that if you’ll soberly consider how you engaged in discussion during your church gathering, you’ll likely find that much of your exchange was wasted on things that had no lasting value to either party. Yet our church gatherings are supposed to be the event that most closely reflects the glories of heaven. If we can’t speak much of many things of spiritual and eternal value here, then what does that say about our priorities, zeal for Jesus, and love for our brethren? We must admit that despite anything we may say of our spiritual maturity or piety, many of us prove that we are far more fleshly, distracted, and selfish than we should be, based only on what we talk about during church.

The sad reality is that most western Christians have inherited a view of church that is a far cry from the faithful examples of the New Testament. We usually give little thought to how we can make the best use of our conversations with the brethren. In fact, this usually isn’t a concern for us at all. The activities that are largely thought to be at the core of our church gatherings are congregational singing, a leader’s prayer, and the sermon. And then every once in a while, the Lord’s Supper enters into the equation. Yet the service we provide to each other through our loving conversations is rarely considered to be a significant means of building up the body of Christ.

The New Testament teachings of the apostles present us with a very different ideal for the weekly gathering of believers. Do they include group singing, group prayer, and public teaching? Yes. But lengthy encouragement and instruction is given about the ways in which Christians are merely to speak to each other. Take Paul’s words in Ephesians 4:14-15:

“As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ . . .”

What is the tool that the Spirit is said to use to make us more like Christ? It’s just “speaking the truth in love”. We could go on to cite several other Scriptures that highlight the importance of our personal conversations with each other. On a few occasions, as in 1 Thessalonians 5, Paul urges brethren to “encourage each other.” And the author of Hebrews details one of the most neglected instructions about mutual Christian love in chapter 10 and verses 24-25:

“. . . and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another . . .”

How do you think we can best stimulate, or spur on, each other toward love and good deeds, than to speak to each other in encouraging discussions? In fact, this is exactly what Paul calls for in a passage following the one from Ephesians above. In this verse, he lays out exactly what our goals and manner ought to be when speaking to our brothers and sisters:

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” — Eph. 4:29

Notice that when we speak what is good “for edification,” or to build up according to the need, it gives grace to our hearer. In other words, in keeping with the Reformed view of church, godly conversation is a ”means of grace” for the body of Christ!

With all this said, how should we evaluate and view our personal talks with each other on Sundays, and any day? Well, clearly, we ought to give more thought to what we say to our brethren when we have the opportunity, and we should do a sober consideration of the time and space we give to allowing our congregations to talk to each other. Traditionally, church buildings have had “fellowship halls,” but these spaces have been largely neglected in favor of the “service.” We need to reprioritize the normal, loving, and caring conversation of most believers in the local fellowship. In our next lesson, we’ll think about some specific strategies we can employ to make the most of our time together as brethren, and especially at our weekly Lord’s Day gatherings. Until then, keep seeking to know Jesus and the power of His resurrection!