All Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Standard Bible 1995 Ed. (NASB95)

As I previewed in the beginning, brotherly love is key to the spiritual growth of believers. To be more technical, it is the key ingredient to discipleship, or the process by which Christians are taught and shown how to think and act more like Jesus. And discipleship is what we’ve been looking at in Ephesians 4. There was also another factor in the body’s spiritual growth that I didn’t mention. It’s Paul’s emphasis on “love” in his grand description of the purposes of the Lord’s Assembly.

He mentions it twice in the passage. First, he says that Christians speak the truth “in love” (v. 15). Then, he closes the section by summarizing that each part of the body is used by Christ as “it builds itself up in love.” Clearly, doing these “in love” is essential to the service, growth, and unity of the Lord’s people. And it’s not hard to understand what Paul means by these works being done in love, if we take a little time to think about it.

In contrast to the contemporary false western notion of saying something “in love,” Paul is not talking about a tone of voice. Instead, he’s thinking of the same manner that he instructs the Ephesians to live out in chapter 5, where he commands,

“And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (5:2)

Clearly, Paul can’t be talking about audible tone in this verse. He’s of course talking mainly about motive and only secondly about manner. From the example of Christ, he’s enjoining believers to live sacrificially for the good of others. And this is exactly what he means when he describes believers as “speaking the truth in love.” To be direct, this means that we ought to be truthful to each other because we care about our brethren, and desire to promote their mental and moral growth. And again, the main way this is effected is through the appropriate communication of the truth.

The author of the Letter to the Hebrews succinctly describes this foundational method of loving discipleship in chapter 10 of that great epistle:

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another . . .” – Hebrews 10:24-25a

So what is the direct manner in which our truth-speaking to our brother will build him up? By “stirring” them up “to love and good works” through this “encouragement”. The Greek term translated “stir up” here could also be translated as “spur on” or “provoke,” as the NASB translates it. It conveys the idea of forcibly motivating someone to do something. In this case, our goal as believers ought to be to urge our brethren on to more and more “love and good works.”

Now let’s think about this in terms of our familial connections with each other. In terms of our brotherly devotion to each other, this continuous consideration and encouragement of one another means that we ought to be continually and diligently looking for ways in which we can help our brother or sister to become more loving, caring, and do more good for others.

Note that the Hebrews writer calls his brethren to “consider how” to spur each other on. The word he uses here literally means to “study” or to “analyze,” so he’s calling for deep, involved, and active relationships between each other. This requires us to actually treat our brethren as our eternal siblings, and to take an active and sacrificial part in their goals, occupations, and struggles.

What does this look like in practical, everyday terms? First and foremost, it demands that we pry into the condition, thoughts, habits, and aspirations of our brethren. We must ask them deep, probing, questions. And if a brother or sister is thinking humbly, wisely, and lovingly, then they should be willing to share who they are, what they desire, and what their struggles are with you. If not, then be respectful and gentle, but don’t give up pursuing their heart. As brethren, we should long to have deep, invested, heartfelt, and affectionate interactions with them. We must remember that these kinds of relationships are only right and appropriate, given who we are in Jesus, and what we are called to do for each other.

Undoubtedly, we all find times when we forget just how valuable our brethren are to us, and fail to pursue their spiritual good as we ought through affectionate devotion. At such times, praying about and for our brethren is more needed than ever. Have you ever wondered how Paul could have such devotion, love, and affection for the multitudes of believers he wrote to, even though he didn’t see them for months, and years, on end? It was because he regularly prayed for them with thanksgiving, remembering how the Lord used them in his life, and how instrumental he was in their obedience to Jesus. In the same way, we ought to maintain regular, devoted, diligent, and thankful intercession for our closest brothers and sisters in the Lord.

But prayer isn’t enough. As I previously highlighted, true brotherly affection for each other must be maintained and strengthened through planned regular time spent together throughout the week. We need to develop friendships with our brethren that involve more than going to a Sunday meeting to sing, pray, listen, and talk. We should also be looking for specific activities and service efforts in which we can partner together.

Most importantly, it’s quite incumbent on western Christians that we learn to practice more hospitality, primarily to have brethren over for meals. But we shouldn’t stop here. More individually, we should look for ways in which we can help our brethren specifically. Perhaps this means helping them out with a home project. Or agreeing to work together in an evangelistic effort. Or maybe you could even find a way that your brother or sister can help you with your work, or with your business. Or maybe you can find ways to help the poor people in your community. Regardless, it’s important that we cultivate specifically tailored friendships and partnerships, so we can keep each other accountable, encourage one another, and bear each other’s burdens (Gal. 6:2). And as we do these things, we’ll find more opportunities of learning about each other, and understand how to better build each other up.

Thus, as we lovingly and faithfully pursue the good of our brothers and sisters, and eagerly speak truth to each other, Paul’s grand vision for the body of Christ will at least be partially worked out in our day. The saints will serve each other, build each other up, consider how to spur each other on to love and good deeds, speak the truth in love, and be used by the Holy Spirit to renew each other’s minds, and to conform us into the image of our Lord Jesus, as we understand and know Him more.