All Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Standard Bible 1995 Ed. (NASB95), published by The Lockman Foundation

Throughout my nearly ten years of being a young believer, I have rarely seen the love commanded and described in Scripture demonstrated consistently among the brethren. As the years have gone on, I’ve been increasingly grieved by the lack of love and concern displayed by my brethren, and especially by those within the assemblies I’ve met with. I’ve come to realize that this lack of love, although at times not helped by me, is the result of foundational errors, and besetting sins. The most fundamental error among western Christians is to view their fellow believers as anything less than essentially the same type of people, and family members in God’s family. Compounding this failure to practically believe Scripture’s teaching on God’s people, is the plague of besetting sins which pervade the majority of western evangelical fellowships. I would say that the two most prevalent of these sins are pride and selfishness.

Regardless of what most western Christians would say, I’ve found that a huge number of them act as though they’re more important than most of their brethren. They demonstrate this by keeping to their own inclusive circles, by holding outsiders at arm’s length, and by keeping relationships with them very shallow. Rarely do they express genuine concern for the church members who aren’t one of their intimate friends. Some brethren even ignore those whom they don’t know well. In addition, outside of the Sunday gathering, most believers keep to themselves, even immediately after they leave, as they mostly go their separate ways to eat or engage in other afternoon activities. Of course, these are mostly just displays of selfishness, and such selfishness is foolish, since they’re not only harming the brethren whom they neglect, but ultimately harming themselves. Since God’s family is the body of Christ, when we don’t care for the other parts of the body as we would care for ourselves, then those parts suffer, and the whole body is hindered from growing effectively. As Paul says in Galatians, “a little leaven leavens the whole lump.”

What is the remedy for our proud individualism, and our deceptive selfishness and failure to love one another? In order of decreasing importance, the best solutions are submitting to our identity in Christ, our example in Christ, and our example in the New Testament Christians.

The Destruction of Selfishness: Christ-focusedness

In order to focus more on our brethren’s interests, and less on our own, the answer isn’t to attempt to force ourselves to take more of an interest in them. Rather, we’re to focus on the greatest reality that we have in common – our personal knowledge of the Lord Jesus. In one of the most succinct passages combating selfishness, Paul the apostle offers the example of Jesus as a powerful motivation to care for one another. It directly contradicts most believers’ treatment of their brethren, for the most part:

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” (Php. 2:3-4)

This spokesman for the Lord Jesus forbade the Philippian assembly from doing anything from selfishness or pride. How often we neglect this divine prohibition! But, of course, it’s impossible to avoid doing this without “humility of mind.” By enjoining the Philippians to adopt this mindset, he’s calling them to a sober and realistic evaluation of themselves, in relationship to their brethren. Who are they? In the first verse of the letter, Paul describes them as “saints in Christ Jesus.” So, they’re “holy ones,” or those separated to God’s family and service, since they’re “in Christ Jesus”, who is the Holy One, and the preeminent Son of God. Thinking of oneself humbly doesn’t require you to despise yourself, but to recognize that everything about you that pleases God is ultimately from His work to place you into Christ, and to set you apart for His special purpose. The main implication of this for our treatment of our brethren is that there’s nothing about us that makes us more important than any other believer. All of us are saints in Christ Jesus, and all of us are God’s children.

With a proper estimation of ourselves, we can then have an appropriate view of our brethren. But still, this attitude goes against everything in our natural, fleshly, mindset:

“. . . regard one another as more important than yourselves . . .” (v. 3)

Here, Paul is not saying that your brethren are ultimately more important than you, but that in relation to you in your responsibilities toward them, they are subjectively more important than you. If you didn’t treat them as more important than you, then you wouldn’t be able to forget about your needs, and focus on theirs.

But Paul doesn’t leave his instruction for others-centeredness and love at simple prohibition. He holds up the all-important example of Jesus, who demonstrated the greatest humility in history for the good of others:

“. . . although He existed in the form of God, [He] did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant . . .” (Php. 2:6-7a)

This passage is saying that the Son of God the Father, who had always existed with God the Father in perfect unity, didn’t treat His equality with God something that had to be held on to, but removed it from Himself, so that He could become a “bond-servant,” or slave. He did this so that He could die for our sins, and grant us eternal life. Therefore, if the divine Son gave up His rights as God for our benefit, shouldn’t we, His followers, give up our rights to take care of our brethren? This is the call – we are to think the same way that Jesus did when He humbled Himself to serve us.

In a similar way as Paul, John the apostle uses the example of our Lord to motivate us to love our brethren in 1 John 3:16 by declaring,

“We know love by this: that He laid down His life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.”

John’s argument isn’t that Jesus sacrificed His life for us individually, so therefore we should sacrifice ourselves for our brethren. Rather, he’s saying that Jesus gave up His life in the place of our brethren, so we also should lay down our lives for them. His ultimate demonstration of love shows that He loves them perfectly, so we need to follow Him in loving those people for whom He died. This is one of our reasons for treating our brethren as more important than ourselves.

If we remember that Jesus died for this brother or that sister, then we’ll be reminded that God loves him or her just as much as He loves us, and we’ll be motivated to love the person who has experienced the exact same grace, mercy, and forgiveness that we have.

 But don’t miss the demanding way in which we must love our brethren – by laying down our lives for them. This means that we’re willing to do anything – up to dying – in order to benefit them. How pathetic this requirement makes most of our shallow demonstrations of love look!

Here’s another argument for us treating our brethren as more important than ourselves based on our relationship with God. If we’re satisfied with all that God has done for us and to us in Jesus, then we won’t be attempting to please ourselves by simply meeting our needs. All of our needs and ultimate aspirations have been provided to us by the Lord. Thus, if we’re content with who we are and what we have through Christ, then we won’t attempt to add to these blessings by caring for ourselves at the expense of others.

Lastly, we have the direct command of our Lord Jesus to obey:

“’A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.’” (Jn. 13:34)

How did the first Christians carry out this command? We’ll look at several examples.

Directives and Demonstrations of Selflessness from the New Testament

First, we’ll take a look at a few of the clearest instructions from Paul the apostle relating to our love for one another. In his letter to the Galatians, he succinctly urges them to demonstrate their love in the way we’ve already seen that Jesus did for us:

“. . . only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” (Gal. 5:13b)

In this verse, we see again that love isn’t a feeling, or even necessarily an exciting enjoyment in someone, but is an attitude and a choice. Through our concern and devotion to our brethren, we will decide to serve them.

One of the most essential, but often most neglected, ways in which we serve our brethren is by speaking to them. Paul describes the proper functioning of the body of Christ in Ephesians 4:15 as “speaking the truth in love.” Notice, again, that it’s love that motivates our truth-telling. But according to the original Greek, Paul literally says being truthful, so he probably also has in mind that we’re to speak to one another with genuineness and honesty.

But what will motivate us to go out of our way to serve and speak to our brethren who have needs we can meet? Paul gives one of the most foundational instructions for this in Romans 12:10a, where he commands,

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.”

In this instance, the love he refers to isn’t simply the love of sacrifice and choice, but the natural affection of family. Hence, he’s here calling Christians to treat one another as brothers and sisters in God’s family, with all that that involves.

As the last of these instructional passages, I call your attention to one of the most neglected purpose statements for the gathering of believers in the New Testament. It’s Hebrews 10:24-25:

“. . . and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging . . .”

Although believers often encourage one another, we less often follow the first instruction, which is required to carry out the rest. What is it telling us to do? To consider, or think carefully, on how we can stimulate or stir up each other to “love and good deeds.” This requires more than simply spending a couple of minutes talking to a brother or sister. This demands that we know our brethren, and are actively engaged in thinking about how we can best help them to become more loving and engaged in doing good. Further, this means that we must be willing to provoke change in our brethren. And the main way that we do this is by encouraging, or emboldening our brethren through our words and actions.

Finally, the example of the first Christians in Acts gives us a wonderful picture of the unity and love to which we’re called in Christ’s body. First, note Acts 4:32, which reads,

“And the congregation of those who believed were of one heart and soul; and not one of them claimed that anything belonging to him was his own, but all things were common property to them.”

Contrary to some understandings of this verse, these believers were not practicing communism. Communism is an economic system in which the government has control of all the resources. The sharing of all their property was simply the outworking of their familial unity. They had “one heart and soul.” So, because they were thinking, purposing, and living in the same way, they worked together to use their physical possessions to accomplish their common goals.

Going back a couple of chapters to the beginning of this congregation, we again see powerful, loving, and joyful unity in Christ and His gospel after the Day of Pentecost:

“Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart . . .”

Note again the unity of thinking they had – “one mind.” And then the love – “breaking bread from house to house.” These believers were not like so many, who just go to the Sunday service, and leave their brethren almost immediately, to have little to do with them the rest of the week. These first Christians treated one another like family. Why wouldn’t we want to do the same?

Examine Yourself

Dear reader, do you love other Christians? And when I say “love,” I don’t mean some mild sense of concern or admiration. I mean do you sacrifice whatever you have – time, comfort, energy, possessions – to do good for those who openly acknowledge and worship the Lord Jesus? Do you have genuine concern for them as God’s beloved children, and Christ’s blood-bought servants? If your life is completely lacking in love for the saints, then Scripture is clear that you’re not a saint yourself, since God’s children love one another. John the apostle proclaims in 1 John 3:14 that

“We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death.”

If you don’t have love for the brethren, then today is the day that you must give up your rebellion against God and trust in the crucified, risen, and reigning Savior to save you from God’s wrath, and give you His forgiveness and peace.

If you do love other believers, how much and how often do you do so? Do you really treat them as your brothers and sisters by devoting yourself to their good, and by doing whatever you can to help them in their Christlikeness?

Do you truly consider your brethren to be more important than yourself, and look out for their interests? Do you actually take the time to consider how you can best stir your brethren up to greater love and good deeds? Do you make every effort to truthfully speak whatever truth is best for your brethren to hear when you engage them?

Do you make time to invite your brethren to eat with you, and to spend time talking to them or share in some beneficial activity?

If most of us honestly answered these questions, I think we’ll see that we are falling far short of the Lord’s command, and the excellent example of the first Christians. If unbelievers were to watch your interactions with your brethren, would they be able to exclaim, “Look how they love one another, and how united they are!” The Lord said,

“’By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.’” (Jn. 13:35)

It’s time that we, as God’s children and Christ’s body, step up our outworking of who we are. We are indwelt by the Spirit of Christ, and we are all one in Christ Jesus. Everything about what God has done to us and for us demands that we love one another as brothers and sisters. I recognize that there’s always room for improvement, but it’s time to stop letting our worldly mindsets, customs, and habits hinder us from loving one another “fervently . . . from the heart” (1 Pe. 1:22). Prayerfully take practical steps today to make sure that you’re doing all you can to care for your brothers and sisters in Christ. This is one of the essential ways in which we can enjoy the control of the Spirit, and fullness of joy.